memorial day

Today is Memorial Day...a holiday. I do recognize it as a day to honor those whose gave their lives so I can live the life I live today. And I am grateful to them for doing so. I try to think if I could do the same. I don't think so. I honor and thank them. But today mostly is just another day to me. B and I never do anything like other people do to celebrate a holiday. No family or friends gather on our patio. We don't load up the camper or go to our cottage on the beach or in the mountains for a nice relaxing weekend. We don't own a camper or a cottage. We just continue on as normal. Friday the drapery rods that we ordered arrived. B is installing them today. I am ironing shirts and cleaning my bedroom while watching old movies that I've seen before. I am going to roast a chicken later. I awoke feeling nervous today and poured myself a glass of champagne at noon. Then another and another. Tomorrow the fitness club where I work is open til 2. So I'm going in for a few hours so I don't get behind in my work. It's not even sunny today to lift my spirits. As I write I see the sun peeking out though.

My most prominent memories of Memorial Day are from when I was young. Every holiday seemed like a special day set apart from the others. Sometimes the McWilliams family would come to visit Grandma Morris and Aunt Jerry. I'd play with Cindy and maybe Donna and lust after Keith. Debbie was young and got in the way. Larry...I think he was older and seldom came. We rode our bikes. I focused on their Chicago accent. The way they always wanted to go with. What do they mean....go with? Go with you? They still had a week or so of school to endure. I felt smug because I was out of school already. My mom would set up the grill and we would have burgers in the back yard on our picnic table. My dad would sit in a lawn chair in the backyard and look up when I yelled at him to Look at Me Look at Me hanging from my knees from the top bar of the swingset. I would put on my bathing suit and run through the sprinkler. We would make a trip out to the cemetery to place fake flowers on my grandparents graves. I would run around and sit on the tombstones and visit the unknown soldier statue. Marvel at the cedar tree. That's what I remember.