in memoriam

On this Memorial Day Weekend I'm remembering my dad Fenton J Breene who served in the Army 1941-1945.

p t or how i drop $30 per week

Back in October or November I pulled a muscle or something in my chest and back under my right arm. It was very painful but I kept working through it month after month. Rolling over in bed at night would wake me up and reaching towards the floor caused distress. Still I kept working out. When it got to the point where I felt like I was starting to lose range of motion I mentioned it to my doctor. He sent me to physical therapy where Dr Laura took a bunch of measurements and told me that my small stabilizer muscles in my back were very weak and causing my shoulder blades to flare out. I started a course of physical therapy twice a week. I've been going for about 8 weeks now and have seen vast improvement. I go at 7:00 am on Wednesdays and Fridays. When I first started to go I noticed that there was a lot of standing around time waiting for instruction on what to do next. There was also a lot of chatter between the doctor and the patients and among the patients. I've discovered that when you go several times a week at the same time you see the same faces over and over again and start to make friends. Eventually I got into a routine and no longer need instruction. I show up, get a little heat on my shoulder and do my rounds. It takes me about 45 minutes to an hour. On Friday the guy who appears to be the head honcho and who had never spoken to me before, asked me how I was doing. I told him that my shoulder was getting much better. He said that he had seen me working hard every time that I was there. I said that I try to work hard. That's why I go. He said - Yes I've seen that.

So that made me feel really good because I had noticed that not everyone works so hard there. At $15 co-pay per pop I want to get better so I can stop going. For one thing these early mornings are killing me.

I see a lot of the same faces everytime that I'm there. I've seen older people who seem to have suffered strokes relearning to walk, young athletes with knee and leg injuries, and lots of people with shoulder injuries similar to mine.
Some of my most distinct memories of this time will be that has rained nearly the whole two months I've been going and the lady who comes in sexy tight jeans and stilettos. I can't wait to see what she will show up in next and wonder how she can possibly be comfortable performing her exercises dressed the way she does.

soul searching

I was reading the blog of my niece, Becky, tonight. She is reading a book that asks 48 questions and she answered the first eight of them. These kinds of questions scare me but made me do some soul searching about the answers I would provide. I hope she doesn't mind that I'm a copycat. Here goes.

1. Who gave you your first job? What kind of job was it? How much money did you make?

I believe that my first job was babysitting and I think I made an dollar an hour. I'm sorry to say that I never really liked babysitting all that much although I babysat full time a couple of summers. I was always very relieved when the mothers reclaimed their babies. Around this same time I also detasseled corn one summer. This has to be one of the crappiest jobs in the world. I would meet other detasselers at the park and we would ride in the back of a truck to the corn field where we would ride on detasseling machines through the rows of early morning dew-soaked corn. Our job was to pull the tassels out of the corn creating lady corn plants that could be fertilized by men corn plants with tassels. Like Mr. Rogers said girls are fancy on the inside and boys are fancy on the outside. We became immediately soaked by the dew and remained in wet clothes throughout most of the day. The corn leaves are very sharp on the edges and delivered small cuts like paper cuts on our arms and legs. I only detasseled corn one summer. I must have been quite young when I performed these jobs because when I was 14 years of age I got a work permit so I could start working at our local grocery store as a checkout clerk and shelf stocker. My salary increased to $1.25 an hour and remained at that level throughout my whole grocery store career. I worked there throughout high school after school and on Saturdays. And then while I was in college I worked there during the summers. I was also an entrepreneur in high school. I had my own little cake baking business. I baked and sold cakes for birthdays and other functions in my small home town. My specialty was cut-out cakes. Cakes in the shapes of animals, vehicles etc.

2. From looking at your work life so far, what has been of the greatest value or worth?
Boy, I wish I knew the answer to that question. What do they mean by value or worth? The jobs that have provided me with the most income have not been the jobs that have made me feel the most valuable. Continuing on with the jobs that that I have held....
When I was in college I worked summers in the grocery store. I only held one job for a short while when I was away at college. I waited tables for a short time at Pizza Hut. I liked this job. The evening was busy and passed by quickly. People have to eat and for the most part were friendly and gracious. After I graduated from college and moved to the big city I got a job at J C Penneys at Woodfield Mall in Chicago. I actually loved this job. I loved helping people with their selections and ringing up their purchases. I got to interact with so many people everyday. But I knew I had just graduated with a degree in accounting and I had to make something of my life. Before a year was out I put my nose to the grindstone and found a job that was worthy of the degree I had earned. Listen to this.....when I met with the HR director at JC Penneys to resign my position, I told her I was resigning because I had a degree in accounting and I was pursuing something in my field...she said to me...you will never amount to anything. I guess she was upset that I was leaving because I was a good worker. I was young and vulnerable and insecure. Her words cut me deeply. Now that I think about this I am very angry at her. At the time I was hurt and I think I believed her. Was she right?
I deviate from the question. Helping people...that is the the thing I value most. Yesterday I helped two women who had both lost their husbands in April one week apart. Last month I helped a women who was recently divorced and couldn't even balance her checkbook. They were all devastated, lost, clueless. They were all grateful for my help. Such little things I did for them and they were so grateful.

3. If your job changes, does your purpose change?
What? I don't understand the question. What is my purpose? I just want to be happy doing something that makes me happy.


4. Do you think your current job will exist five years from now?

I absolutely do know it will will exist. I just don't want to be doing it five years from now.

5. What would be the key characteristics of an ideal job or career?

I would be interacting with people. Talking, moving around, doing something with my hands, creating something that I could look upon proudly and say I did this. People would say "You did this this?" and I would demurely respond that I had.

6. When you daydream, what do you see yourself doing?

I see myself owning an restaurant creating lovely meals for people to enjoy. Or having a studio creating art in some way. Or owning a shop of some kind. Or teaching exercise classes. Or all of those things combined in some way.

7. What have been the happiest, most fulfilling moments in your life?

Most definitely the years I spent as a full time mother and homemaker. Raising my child, having the time to do the things I love....reading, running, working out, sewing, crafting, planning and cooking meals, decorating my house.

8. If nothing changed in your life in the next 5 years, would that be OK?

It would be the death of me.

wants and desires

These fortunes have been hanging on the wall of my cube now for two or three years waiting for me to figure out what it is that I want and desire.

i'm feeling much better now

I've always believed that if you have nothing nice to say then you should say nothing at all. I guess I've had nothing nice to say for awhile.

Tonight I attended one of my ASWA board meetings. These ladies are so inspirational and civic minded and full of energy and hope. I wish I could be more like them. I never feel like I fit in well with these ladies who are so dedicated to their work and full of talk about continuing professional education and attending accounting conferences.
We were planning our June meeting which is always the installation of the officers. This year it is also the 60th anniversary of our Buffalo chapter of the American Society of Women Accountants. We are planning to invite past presidents and have an anniversary party with cake and centerpieces on the table. I start to get excited when the talk turns this direction and I offer a suggestion for the centerpieces. I was the one who came up with the idea for our table decorations at our Christmas fundraiser also. The ladies like my ideas and wonder aloud how I come up with such creative things. I think to myself that my ideas aren't really all that creative or wonderful but I am with ladies who think differently than I do. This is what my mind thinks about instead of numbers and financial fraud and tax shelters. So this is what I have to offer my little group. And now I have to get busy making twenty paper birds.